Starring Jack Del Rio as Mr. Indecision & Mel Tucker as his side-kick NoSacks:
Del Rio is perfectly cast as the bumbling wanna be hero who doesn’t have a clue (or a spine) when it comes to making the simple decision of which quarterback should be the starter of his team. Mel Tucker is cast as the confused assistant trying to help Del Rio by assuming all the defensive play calling during games, but just can’t seem to figure out how to get a sack. Together they provide plenty of frustration & boredom for the Jacksonville Jaguars fan base. Will Del Rio ever just trade has-been quarterback David “Overpaid” Garrard & finally just admit that Luke “The Truth” McCown should be the starting QB while Blaine “The Future” Gabbert can be the back-up until he’s ready to take over? Why can’t Tucker’s defensive line get to the quarterback & finally knock him on his butt? Will his secondary be able to defend the pass or learn how to tackle? Will Jack’s offensive line be able to gel & protect whichever quarterback is under center?
These questions and more need to be answered before week 1 of the regular season. They can’t continue their slap-stick comedy routine along the sideline. The players need to know which QB will be the starter. This constant back & forth about not having a quarterback controversy and keeping the team & fans hanging is ridiculous. Mr. Indecision knows that his job is on the line this year. It’s playoffs or bust for him. But he agreed to pay Garrard $60 million and now he’s kinda stuck with him. Big mistake Jack. Tucker had no real say in how the defense was run before, but Wayne ” Big Boss” Weaver stripped Mr. Indecision of all his defensive play calling abilities. Now Jack seems like a regular guy with no defensive powers. Tucker has the power now. The power to get the linebackers to hit harder, play faster and stop the run. The power to get the front four on the same page and get more penetration and hopefully a sack. The power to allow the corner backs & safeties make the big plays & help stop the run. The power to get some turnovers.
But defensive power alone cannot win every game for the Jaguars. Mr. Indecision needs better effort from all the offensive players. Can he solve the RT dilema in time? Can his young corps of wide recievers get open & make the catches needed to move the chains & get into the endzone? Will his O-line still be able to punch holes in the defense for the running backs to run to daylight? Can he help his players overcome the dreaded “Concussion Effect” and remain healthy troughout the entire 16 game season? Will McCown ever get an opportunity to start? Will Mr. Indecision ever be able to make enough decisions to save his job? Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion.
The Jaguars failed against the Patriots in epic fashion. They barely beat the Falcons. The lowly Bills dashed their hopes in overtime. Can the Jaguars make a stand next Thursday on their home turf? Will they be able to stop former teammate Mike “I got paid” Sims-Walker and his new brother-in-arms Sam “The Sensation” Bradford & Stephen “Action” Jackson as St. Louis tries to ram a victory down their throats at Everbank field? Will Tucker’s defense be up to the task? Can Del Rio’s O-line man up and win the battle in the trenches? Will Maurice “Pocket Hercules” Jones-Drew & Arron “The Crusher” Kampman get to play at all this preseason? Who will make the cut for the final 53 man roster? So many questions, so little time. The clock is ticking. Can they save the day? Can you feel the anticipation yet? Me neither.